1.09 Fashionably Armored

Look, I get it: you want to look cool and, let’s face it: bikes are pretty dangerous by nature, what with everybody on cellphones, texting away and the lack of crumple zones and all… And the argument about economy pretty much goes out the window the first time you loose a month in the hospital and wipe out your savings…

If your goal is to look cool and you’re actually pulling it off, that’s okay too, see: Brooklyn hipsters sporting skinny jeans and a sparkly half-helmet to show off a stubbly jawline.  Even the guy I saw years ago on a 900 Monster with high-pipes, sporting a “for novelty use only” puddin-bowl helmet and yellow-tinted sunglasses [Hello Bono!] somehow looked weirdly badass.

But if your idea of “stylish” is a pair of stonewashed jeans and some New Balance sneakers, why the hell NOT wear some actual protective gear?  You look like a goon out there anyway.

I’m sorry, Rich Urban Bikers, but that OC Chopper look is SO over.  If your bike is cool and it’s whole purpose of the purchase was just to look cool, classic, epic, that’s great.  But what are those bikes for, since they’re no longer in fashion?  They’re not cool, not comfortable, don’t handle… aren’t really fast.  And don’t go on and on about your 2000cc S&S built motor that makes a 180 hp and 180 ft/lbs of torque.  It’s motivating 800lbs of iron, so your average GSX-R1000 will eat it alive in any measurable performance measure, except maybe a 20mph, sixth gear roll-on…

Or maybe cougar-hunting.


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